A Year of Kaddish

We’re into counting these days. I’m not talking about the question that people ask me now and again: “When are you done saying Kaddish?” I’m talking about Counting the Omer, the ritual done each night from the second night of Pesach to Shavuot, the next major festival on the Jewish calendar.

The way I see it, part of the count is a way of also keeping track of any growth we’re making from our symbolic, and hopefully real, exodus from Mitzrayim, to the point of revelation. At our seder, we made the point that the exodus from Egypt is more than a historic or Biblical event; it’s something that we are commanded to do every year, to examine the places in our lives where we feel ensnared or trapped and realize that we too can leave those narrow places.

It might be easy to lose track of what day in the count we’re at were it not for the many reminders all around me. Besides the Hebrew calendars we have in the house, I get a “Counting the Omer Reminder List” from Torah.org daily which arrives in my e-mail Inbox. I’ve also added an app on my smartphone called Sefirat HaOmer, which tells me the day and even provides the prayer or blessing recited. Today, by the way, is the 16th day of the Omer. There’s also a reminder that plays off the fictional TV character, Homer Simpson, called The Homer Calendar.

But there’s another count, and that’s how many times a week I make it to a minyan to say Kaddish. Whether I attend Beth El or Beth David, the two shuls I go to most often, I go nearly 14 times a week. Morning and evening, although with the change to Daylight Savings Time, I’ve missed the last couple Shabbat services Saturday afternoon and evening, which now begin around 7 p.m. Otherwise, I go.

So in that respect I’ve been faithful to fulfilling my obligation. On the other hand, I haven’t been very good about following the advice one rabbi gave me early on: “What I tell couples is to check in with each other regularly and ask, ‘how’s this working for you?’” Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. We do check in with each other regularly. I just haven’t let up on going to services.

Last night I decided I would. At least, for this morning. I didn’t set my alarm, and so this morning, though I still woke up about 6 o’clock, as I do most days, I turned over in bed and slept for another hour or so. Instead of quietly slipping out of bed, quickly dressing and carefully exiting the house as the sun is rising, I got up that hour later, made coffee, and scanned the three newspapers we still subscribe to while eating my oatmeal.

Then I went to work. I looked at the clock at one point, noticed it was 8:15, and thought, they’re done, no matter which minyan I might have attended. And today’s service was a bit longer because not only is it a morning when the Torah is read, but there were extra prayers to mark Rosh Hodesh, the new month of Iyar.

I’ll return to shul this afternoon/evening and go tomorrow morning and Shabbat the following day. But as I count the days between festivals this spring, I’m reminded that to others in my life there are other things that count as well.